![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Status Update
Feb. 5th, 2008 03:26 pmNew resolution: to post a journal entry every day. My words are getting rusty, my phrasing is getting lazy, and where I used to be in the habit of of composing narratives in my head, I'm not really making observations like I used to do. In other words, I'm running out of things to say.
So what is my current status? I'm craving green things. It's been snowy since we came back from winter break, and since Spokane has inscrutable reasons of its own for not de-icing the streets, every day is spent bunkered inside our human caves, or fighting against a hostile landscape of icy sidewalks. I've only fallen once, but when I did, the crusted ice sliced my hand open. Where once I looked forward to wearing all my different sweaters, I now long to put them away, tired of the same old styles. I worry that my nice winter coat is aging prematurely, losing shape with constant wear. I am limited to only two or three pairs of shoes, those with the sturdiest, least slippy soles. There's no real evidence of any form of life on the planet's surface beside human. When I daydream, I'm thinking about a blue sky and flowering trees, burgeoning lilacs, insect activity, and walking bare foot on the grass.
My classes are not stimulating, save for Philosophy of Tolkien, maybe. Fundamentals of Math is tolerable, because I like the logic puzzles. Statistics lost its charm after the first two classes. Econometrics is... inherently charmless, also ridiculous complicated and hard. It's a three hour class once a week, which is inhumane, to say the least. My brain fills with white noise after forty minutes. I might fail the class, I don't know.
On the bright side, I'm feeling very nice and stable. I haven't been really end-all depressed for a couple of months now. There's still the occasional case of the blues, but none of the head-under-the-covers, eschatological despair for the human condition, the deterioration of Creation, the cloying dissonance of modern culture, which accepts so many terrible, horrible things with a resigned blink...
...but we're not going down that road today, are we, Brain? No. I didn't think so. Selective blindness is the name of the game. And until that eucatastrophe happens, I'll be hanging on for spring.
So what is my current status? I'm craving green things. It's been snowy since we came back from winter break, and since Spokane has inscrutable reasons of its own for not de-icing the streets, every day is spent bunkered inside our human caves, or fighting against a hostile landscape of icy sidewalks. I've only fallen once, but when I did, the crusted ice sliced my hand open. Where once I looked forward to wearing all my different sweaters, I now long to put them away, tired of the same old styles. I worry that my nice winter coat is aging prematurely, losing shape with constant wear. I am limited to only two or three pairs of shoes, those with the sturdiest, least slippy soles. There's no real evidence of any form of life on the planet's surface beside human. When I daydream, I'm thinking about a blue sky and flowering trees, burgeoning lilacs, insect activity, and walking bare foot on the grass.
My classes are not stimulating, save for Philosophy of Tolkien, maybe. Fundamentals of Math is tolerable, because I like the logic puzzles. Statistics lost its charm after the first two classes. Econometrics is... inherently charmless, also ridiculous complicated and hard. It's a three hour class once a week, which is inhumane, to say the least. My brain fills with white noise after forty minutes. I might fail the class, I don't know.
On the bright side, I'm feeling very nice and stable. I haven't been really end-all depressed for a couple of months now. There's still the occasional case of the blues, but none of the head-under-the-covers, eschatological despair for the human condition, the deterioration of Creation, the cloying dissonance of modern culture, which accepts so many terrible, horrible things with a resigned blink...
...but we're not going down that road today, are we, Brain? No. I didn't think so. Selective blindness is the name of the game. And until that eucatastrophe happens, I'll be hanging on for spring.