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Scared of everything.
Mar. 1st, 2007 03:12 amNight-anxiety is gross. I got tangled up in my sheets and was too warm, and all I can think about is my living situation next year, and my summer job. I get to do wage-sums in my head. I worry that a desk job will make me fat. I won't make enough money to cover the rent, it's stupid that I'm paying rent for two months that the house will sit empty, that's $650 disappearing. First check due on the first of April: $400. Deposit, that I owe someone: $200. Cup of coffee this morning: $1.36.
I will have to find furniture. What will I do with the furniture at the end of the year? I can't take it home. Storage is expensive. How much? What will I do with my fridge at the end of this year? Take it home? Will my brother use it in two years? Sell it? Store it? Where? Will I have friends next year? Could I get a job as a PSA at the library? $12.50 an hour, 30 hours a week--not quite enough but I would like it and would be moving around and I could get an evening job as a waitress--but neither of these would be "Good Career Jobs," not really office experience or--
Unsolicited interview offers = scamscamscam. I don't know if you've heard, guys, but people are horrible, mean creatures and will complicate already complicated problems just by being dishonest, and I don't trust any internet job postings any more, which is stupid, but I hate them all. Clinically, I have to think--clever, clever scammers! What a perfect way to find someone's social security number, what a great way to get access to their financial information, taking advantage of people desperately looking for a good job. Malicious information clutter infuriates me. As do people trying to take advantage of me. And I HATE it that anyone could make up so many lies to make a scam look legitimate.
Pleeeease let me qualify for another scholarship. Please let everything work out. Please let me have a clean conscience when my parents next tell me how much they are paying for my education. Please, please. I'll be good, I promise.
I will have to find furniture. What will I do with the furniture at the end of the year? I can't take it home. Storage is expensive. How much? What will I do with my fridge at the end of this year? Take it home? Will my brother use it in two years? Sell it? Store it? Where? Will I have friends next year? Could I get a job as a PSA at the library? $12.50 an hour, 30 hours a week--not quite enough but I would like it and would be moving around and I could get an evening job as a waitress--but neither of these would be "Good Career Jobs," not really office experience or--
Unsolicited interview offers = scamscamscam. I don't know if you've heard, guys, but people are horrible, mean creatures and will complicate already complicated problems just by being dishonest, and I don't trust any internet job postings any more, which is stupid, but I hate them all. Clinically, I have to think--clever, clever scammers! What a perfect way to find someone's social security number, what a great way to get access to their financial information, taking advantage of people desperately looking for a good job. Malicious information clutter infuriates me. As do people trying to take advantage of me. And I HATE it that anyone could make up so many lies to make a scam look legitimate.
Pleeeease let me qualify for another scholarship. Please let everything work out. Please let me have a clean conscience when my parents next tell me how much they are paying for my education. Please, please. I'll be good, I promise.
