Dec. 23rd, 2006

squee

Dec. 23rd, 2006 12:50 am
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OH MY GOD DANCING BABY PENGUINS.
jookitcz: (Default)
We watched Elizabethtown tonight.  The narrative was awkward, there was no real sense of problem save for the flimsy excuses that the characters gave to substitute for a plot.  The characters themselves were a little forced--you know the syndrome, when a character is only identified with a trait because they and the other characters say that it is so.  Redeeming qualities: Orlando Bloom, who I actually think did his best acting here, possibly because the script didn't force him into any ungainly lunges after witty throwaway lines.  Plus there's a fifteen year old girl inside of me who isn't convinced that Legolas is not totally dreeeamy.  I quicklime her with all my stores of cynicism and deny her existence.  Also, the soundtrack was pretty enjoyable, although you could tell by the pacing of the music and the mixtape scenes at the end that the producer wanted this to be a movie with a Good Soundtrack. 

I used to have very mild opinions on romantic subplots in movies.  They were inevitable, they were ingredients to a formula that made likable stories.  Nowadays, I either find them utterly charming or bitterly unlikely.  And this is possibly untrue.  i've been feeling blue for the last few days, and am liable to say anything.  It's the kind of feeling where you just want to suspend animation for the rest of your life.  It could be the weather.  It's so gray here.  I think of light, really bright light from the sun, and just want to cry. 

I'm not sure if this is cause or effect of not feeling enough Christmas spirit.  I just feel tired, anxious, and like everything is desensitized.  I want to give people things because I love them.  But if I give them gifts now, it's just because it's Christmas and they would be think I didn't love them if I didn't run around finding things for them.  So giving gifts as a symbol of affection doesn't work, except it also can't be foregone without guilt and unhappiness.  Or at least--I don't know.  It doesn't feel like enough. 

None of my worries are real.  My stomach knows that, my spine and brain do not.  Particularly this one bit of my brain right behind my eyes--it's an anxiety factory.  I'm going to have a long bubble bath, read Shadow & Claw, and scrub all of my skin.  If I don't feel better, I'm self-medicating lots of water and some oranges.  And if I still feel sad when I wake up tomorrow, I resolve to act relentless happy and energetic and avoid sitting down to do so.  Trick myself.  Good thing I'm a brain doctor.

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